It is beyond my belief that I have been practicing DNRS for 4 months already. As the 6 month mark seems so close, I have an intuition that I will be looking forward to several more months of DNRS before full recovery, but it doesn’t feel disappointing to me at all. The progress I have made is substantial and motivating me to continue forward with hope!
Here are some of the things that I have been experiencing since I posted my 2 month progress:
- I used to look forward to the end of my days, now I look forward to the start! I go to bed every night excited for the day ahead. This is huge.
- I had my hair done at a salon with no fear, no restrictions and no ITs.
- I’ve been experimenting with so many new foods—smoothies, pretty much every fruit, chips, carbonated beverages, sauces and marinades, spices gallore, nut butters, cereal, jelly bellies, so many good things!
- I ate 1/4 pan of GF brownies, and a whole pint of dairy-free ice cream and loved every minute of it, felt no shame, and felt great afterwards.
- I got to try my husband’s home-roasted coffee. It was heaven.
- I am absolutely in love with baking and experimenting with recipes.
- I love that I can buy products based on preference and values, my shopping is no longer based on restrictions, it’s based on what companies I feel best supporting, what foods I like to eat, etc.
- If I have particularly low energy at any given point, if I do a round of high-energy practice (think dance party) I feel waaaaay better after.
- I have successfully overcome my lifelong fear of whales. I might actually LIKE them now. I watch two Blue Planet documentaries and loved them both!
- I am better able to recognize that God is good in all circumstances. When things are going awry or they get really tough, it is becoming more natural for me to respond with trust rather than fear. If I do respond with fear first, hope and trust are not far behind. This is a life changing shift for me.
- I have been feeling strengthened and encouraged in pursuing ministries and opening up my time and energy to things that I used to find overwhelming or out of reach in the past. For example, I offered respite to a foster couple who have a 10 month old baby for a weekend. I have a 12 month old, so between the two of them, it was very challenging. BUT I did not let my limbic system stop me from doing something I am passionate about, and although I was challenged by this experience, I look forward to watching her again and I can look back on the weekend positively.
- I am really starting to actually let go of needing to be in control.
- When my great expectations are not met at an event, outing, gathering, or anything like that, I am much more able to reframe my experience so that I still enjoy what is going on. I am not nearly as easily disappointed, in general.
- I got to enjoy a meal prepared by a friend for the first time in years, and it was delicious.
- My husband and I went out for supper again. I couldn’t pronounce the menu items (it was Italian..) so I pointed to what I wanted but the server misinterpreted my pointing HAHA! So I got a super duper spicy pasta dish instead of my anticipated low-key tomato sauce. I didn’t mind—in fact it was kind of fun being given a surprise dish. I didn’t let the unexpected disappoint me, and I enjoyed my meal without fear!
- Perhaps the best thing that has happened since starting DNRS is that I was able to enjoy my son’s birthday cake with him on his first birthday. I also got to eat what everyone else was eating for supper. My heart is so full.
Life in Between 